Be the Change You Want To See In The World...

After all my years on this earth, how was it, that a single saying by one of the world’s leaders had not passed my eyes and ears?
Be the change you want to see in the world”, by Mahatma Ghandi.
I have since encountered this saying on many occassions over the last few months in different settings and contexts and I think that it has taken as much time to understand and process its true meaning or rather I refused to understand…
Elements of society is one of fault – finding and critics and I myself had fallen into this abyss of negativity. However, recently, I found myself in a rather frustrating situation. I was simply not enjoying life.
My reasons had everything to do with what I didn’t have, with what I wasn’t doing, by who I wasn’t seeing and by the fact that I simply was so busy that I never had any time… hence my immense frustration.

My solution was to change my life in totality. I woke one morning and thought I had the greatest epiphany. I would quit my job, sell all my belongings and wander the earth freely, however, my great idea quickly sank as my practical husband challenged the ‘nuts and bolts” of my great plan, to which I stormed off in a fury of temper.
I was not looking at the blessings that Allah (SBT) had bestowed upon me or the various comforts that I had been afforded. I did not understand that the very frustrations driving my unhappiness were of my own doing and actions and that I was not appreciating the people closest and dearest to me.
It changes with a single thought and the will to change your own life. This is rather cliché’d however, I stopped seeing the glass half empty, but rather started seeing the glass half full.
We can change our lives and make a difference by the way we think, the way we act and interact with others and by the choices we make. My greatest commodity is time… and I had to reach a very firm resolution on how and with who to spend that time. Instead, of constantly trying to reach for the next “fad” or societal status feature, I have decided to enjoy my life as it is, with what I have and to appreciate the people that have moulded, grounded and made such affluent contributions to my life – my family and friends.

The Dreaded "D"

Yes, people do get divorced for concrete, real reasons; but I have also heard some stories where people get divorced for trivial, petty reasons. The Muslim community throws talak around way too casually...

In my opinion, people these days are too lazy and impatient to work through kinks and problems in life and so they take the easy way out... you are overweight; so you get liposuction, you're hungry; so you get a ready-made meal from Woolies, your marriage is not going as planned; eliminate your partner...

Gone are the days when you hear so and so are divorced and gasp...now its like part of life---seems like couples get married just to get divorced.
While men and women should enter into marriages with the intention of it being permanent, Islam recognizes that people do sometimes make poor decisions or change. Thus, divorce and remarriage are allowed as a last resort after estranged couples have attempted to reconcile their differences with the help of family or other counselors.
There is no sure-fire ‘recipe’ for a long and happy marriage…everyones’ experiences vary. I know of a few couples that have gotten divorced…one because of an affair, one because of gambling and another because the wife doesn’t cook like his Mother… There is not only one thing that causes divorce---even a small thing like not wearing the right shoes could send a person over the edge (true story!).
At times I think to myself, why exists there such evils as adultery, gambling, drugs, drinking in life? Marriage is such a beautiful, wonderful thing, why does the Almighty not safeguard the couple from such things coming into their lives and destroying a marriage?
Then it hit me out of the blue---with the help of out local butchery owner…It was weeks before our wedding and fiancé and I were shopping. We know the butcher uncle, so we chatting to him about our upcoming wedding. He gave us this very useful (and proven to be true) words of advice. He told us this ‘Try everything in your power to keep Shaytaan out of your marriage because Shaytaan loves nothing more than conflict…even more-so between husband and wife as it affects not one family, but two famiies.’
Whatever the reason, divorce is an ugly thing and I pray to the Almighty that my marriage works out Insha-allah…after all, that is all we can do…

By:Farzanah Butler

A 12th-Grader Feels For The Children of Gaza

Children in Gaza don’t play in parks or swim in the beach anymore; instead they see massive craters, demolished houses, burnt-out shops, hospital rooms, schools and cars. Amputated limbs, burned skin, still-burning fires cause deep emotional injuries which are more crippling to this nation, even more than any physical damage.

Omar Bandak, a 17-year-old who is a member of the UN Children’s Organisation, says: “We used to go on outings. Here in Bethlehem, there is only home and school to go to. During the curfew we can’t even leave the house. All we want is peace, and to live without tanks and soldiers. I want to be able to feel like other children in the world.”

You and I are blessed. We cannot imagine the daily struggles of the Palestinian child. From watching documentaries on Palestine, I am drawn to the Palestinian people’s resilience... their desire to be free.


Nabeela Khan

TIME2CHANGE IS NOW,PLACE2CHANGE IS HERE

Today, as I think back and recall a simple school essay I wrote a few years ago, my heart is filled with shame and regret. That feeling of immense joy, that adrenaline rush, which enveloped me when my teacher returned my script to me headed with the radiant red digits, “98%”, now seems like a bitter joke. I feel like a hypocrite. I preached about the benefits of taking calculated risks to better our lives, better ourselves. But those who preach have the responsibility to practice. Who was I to talk when I could not face my own Nafs?
We are all familiar with the word Nafs, it is a word we come across time and time again in Islamic books, lectures and talks, but do we know its true meaning? I was ignorant till last year when, at the age of seventeen, I discovered my true Nafs.
I sat in the silver-grey BMW staring out in a daze at miles upon miles of yellow-green grass baking under the furnace of the harsh unrelenting South African sun. My bloodshot and swollen eyes burned from lack of sleep. I felt a newfound dryness in my eyes. A feeling we experience only when our eyes have no more tears left to cry. As we retreated from the small town I tried to make sense of the past forty eight hours, my mind a whirlwind of emotions. Fear, confusion, disbelief, grief, despair, sorrow, rage and self-blame swirled around me colliding and growing. I sat in the eye of the storm, cold and still, unable to correspond. I hung precariously from a thread which I recognize only now as my faith in my creator.
My hands trembled at the thought of the phone call I had received a day ago at 3:20pm. A hoarse and frantic voice on the other end of the still phone line had hastily blurted out that my best friend had passed away in a horrific car accident. The galloping horses of time which had always seemed to rush past me now stood still. Abruptly. Suddenly. Spirit crushed, I hung in a cloud of emptiness while my shell of a body went into an automatic mode. I packed overnight bags, cleaned the house, showered, changed into a cloak, prayed in a trance and took a 3-hour journey to attend the funeral.
The grey and white house swarmed with strange faces. The crowd was like an ocean. Waves of sobbing, heaving sighs and distressed cries overwhelmed me one after the other. All this while only one line remained on my lips: “La illaha Illalah Muhammad ur rasoolullah”.
At one point my thoughts evolved into anger. “Angry with whom?” I asked myself. Was I angry with almighty Allah? How could I be? My Imaan, only my Imaan had pulled me through this nightmare. In this black period of utter despair my Imaan was my only light. Something stirred within me and I recalled a phrase I read in the English Quran. It states that just as plants wither and wilt in the scorching dry heat of a drought and are then revitalized and rejuvenated to their natural, lush and bright beauty by the rains. So too is the effect of Allah’s tests for us in this world. I realized that I had two options. I could crawl into a little hole and fill myself with hatred and hostility (for which my creator would scorn and punish me) or I could rise above like the wilting rose using Allah’s mercy and the strength of the Imaan He has placed in me as my rain. I chose to see that almighty Allah took my friend away for a reason. He used her beautiful soul, her shining example, to change the lives of others and bring us closer to Him. At that precise moment I said “the time to change is now. If I do not change now, I never will”.
I pondered on all the things I could change in my life to make me a better Muslim and one stood out above the rest. As trivial as it may seem to many people, my Nafs was not observing hijaab (not covering my head). It was a Nafs created by my westernized and foolish ways of thinking which created a barrier between me and my creator. Eight months has passed since that day and although the pain and the loss of someone who was a sister to me is still as tangible as if it were yesterday, my hijaab has become a part of me. It gives me a sense of satisfaction and solace. I know that each and every time I wear my hijaab she will be rewarded by almighty Allah. And wherever she may be, her soul will be happy. May Allah grant all murhooms jannat-ul-Firdaus and May He grant us all the ability to overcome our Nafs and become pious Muslims Insha Allah?

By: Sister
Aaisha Haffejee

Something for every woman to ponder on…

Every woman is seen off from her home on two occasions:
Once when she leaves her parents' home to get married.The second when she leaves her home in this world to travel to her abode in the hereafter. If only all young girls would wait in anticipation for and dream about their second farewell as much as they do for the first. It is a reality that the second is far more important than the first, for our eternal fate depends on how well we are received when we reach our final destination.
Reflect on the following:
First farewell
Second farewell
Anxiety about whether or not the husband-to-be will be happy with her
Whether or not Allah will be pleased with what He sees.
Grand trousseau
Righteous deeds.
Dressed in the most expensive of outfits
Attire of "Taqwa
Invitations are handed out
Allah Himself invites her to Jannah
Hosts welcome the guests

By:Sister Laila Tayob

That Reminded Me…

Being divorced and having 4 kids, makes life quite hectic for me. It helps having a routine but getting there isn’t always easy. It was late afternoon, my usual routine started when I arrived home from work. Checking homework, listening to the day’s events, with all ears and from four mouths. I ordered the 2 small ones into the shower; again many idle threats “scrub you clean or else”. On one such day as I hurried the two out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, all the while listening to the food heating in the microwave, and at the same time telling the 2 bigger kids to set the table, switch on the lights, close the curtains… my daughter lays there starng at me with a very happy look on her face, “Mommy, she says: remind me to also wash, cream and dress you when you get old” well at that moment I just stopped, “ How do you mean baby? “ She says: “Mommy it feels soo nice to lay here when you massage my back and then my legs, I’m so relaxed. Then when you cream me, it makes my skin so soft, I want to do that for you someday”. That reminded me… what you do for your children, will most certainly come back to you. Make every moment precious and every moment count.

By: Sister Ameera

Strength of a Woman

Each and every woman knows that you need not only physical strength but emotional strength to survive in this “man’s world”. Moreover as Muslim woman we know the challenges are not only physical and emotional but we need spiritual strength to endure in this western world. As Muslim woman, we are the foundation to a solid family. Strength of a woman lies in her body, mind and soul. The body: is the outer shell in which protects the mind and soul. Muslims understand our bodies are not ours, but are an amaanat from Allah; therefore we need to take care of our bodies in exercise, nutrition, piercings etc.The mind: which we need to keep strong with Deen, so let not the devil make use of an idle mind. The soul: this will be first place in which Allah will look and judge us accordingly. Let our souls be filled with love for Allah and please Him by doing good deeds, being righteous and modest.
“O, Muslim woman, never belittle any gift you give your neighbour even if it is a hoof of a sheep” (Al-Bukhari & Muslim)
by:Sister Laila Tayob