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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Dreaded "D"

Yes, people do get divorced for concrete, real reasons; but I have also heard some stories where people get divorced for trivial, petty reasons. The Muslim community throws talak around way too casually...

In my opinion, people these days are too lazy and impatient to work through kinks and problems in life and so they take the easy way out... you are overweight; so you get liposuction, you're hungry; so you get a ready-made meal from Woolies, your marriage is not going as planned; eliminate your partner...

Gone are the days when you hear so and so are divorced and gasp...now its like part of life---seems like couples get married just to get divorced.
While men and women should enter into marriages with the intention of it being permanent, Islam recognizes that people do sometimes make poor decisions or change. Thus, divorce and remarriage are allowed as a last resort after estranged couples have attempted to reconcile their differences with the help of family or other counselors.
There is no sure-fire ‘recipe’ for a long and happy marriage…everyones’ experiences vary. I know of a few couples that have gotten divorced…one because of an affair, one because of gambling and another because the wife doesn’t cook like his Mother… There is not only one thing that causes divorce---even a small thing like not wearing the right shoes could send a person over the edge (true story!).
At times I think to myself, why exists there such evils as adultery, gambling, drugs, drinking in life? Marriage is such a beautiful, wonderful thing, why does the Almighty not safeguard the couple from such things coming into their lives and destroying a marriage?
Then it hit me out of the blue---with the help of out local butchery owner…It was weeks before our wedding and fiancĂ© and I were shopping. We know the butcher uncle, so we chatting to him about our upcoming wedding. He gave us this very useful (and proven to be true) words of advice. He told us this ‘Try everything in your power to keep Shaytaan out of your marriage because Shaytaan loves nothing more than conflict…even more-so between husband and wife as it affects not one family, but two famiies.’
Whatever the reason, divorce is an ugly thing and I pray to the Almighty that my marriage works out Insha-allah…after all, that is all we can do…

By:Farzanah Butler